Trust no one
by Grinedel
Summary: The BoyWhoLived isn't a boy anymore and when he realized he never picked his side in the war, his meeting with Tom will change the face of the world forever! MOUHAHAHAHA! Slash. Dark!HarryTomVoldemortHarry
1. At the Order of the Sparkling Sparrow

**Trust no one, obey to no one, and care for no one**

…**except…**

**Disclaimer**: I wish JKR would give me the rights of Harry Potter for Christmas… Fat chance… Please don't sue me!

**Rating**: Offers Lemon drops around Loads of Lemon to come… NC-17! Nyark!

**Pairings**: Harry Voldie, Remus Sirius, Lucius Sevvie…

**Warning**: Ron, Hermione and Dumbles bashing, torture and Violence! And very probably SLASH! If you don't like it, GET THE HELL OUT OF HERE YOU BASTARD!

**Categories**: humour & fluff! But the world DOES grow dark… soooo weeell, let's just say: party time for the dark side!

Chapter 1: At the Order of the Sparkling Sparrow

Once upon a time,… hum… Well, actually, it's all happening today, and honestly, it's far from being a fairytale. So, let us begin right away.

Harry Potter, Saviour of the Light, was in a very dark mood. It was lucky his relatives were afraid of what the Order of the Phoenix might do if its members learned Harry was being mistreated, because the teenager had so far had a peaceful summer. Except that he was fed up. He wasn't bored because he didn't have anything to do, oh no. He was tired of being himself, tired of the Prophet mentioning in every single article about the Dark Lord activities, tired of the Aurors watching his house night and day, tired of not being able to live.

If he went out, Voldemort would highly likely blast him off, but if he had at least an hour of fun before that, Harry was beginning to think it was worth the little inconvenient of having to die. Sometimes, you have to smile, shrug, and say "What the Hell!" Very wisely, that's precisely what Harry did before pulling his Invisibility Cloak over him and sneaking his way out of Number four, Privet Drive.

Consequently, he wasn't surprised at all when he felt a cold hand pulling his cloak off, halfway to the centre town. He turned around to look into a set of scarlet eyes.

"Hello Tom! Nice seeing you here." Harry settled for the 'James Bond technique', which consist in joking a way out of trouble, barely useful in real life however.

Lord Voldemort raised an eyebrow, visibly amused by the young wizard new confidence.

"Are you drunk Potter?" He asked, just to be sure.

"Not yet… but I intend to work on it." Harry answered casually.

At this point, Voldemort had some difficulty hiding his astonishment.

"Well well well, Potter, it seems to me that you …hum… changed a bit."

"Well well well, Voldie, it seems to me that you …hum… are stating the obvious."

It was then Harry's turn to be flabbergasted, as the Dark Lord chuckled in a very un-Dark Lordish way.

"So, said Harry a bit put off, do we kill each other now, because I don't have all night and if the Order of the Roasted Chicken discovers I'm not at home, they'll go nuts."

"Duh, I'd rather go and get drunk with you if that's your plan."

Harry considered his nemesis for a second and sighed. "Sure, let's go."

The green-eyed wizard looked warily at the man who felled in step with him. Lord Voldie had obviously done a fine piece of magic because he looked exactly like he had back in the chamber of Secret. His shoulder-length hair waved in dark curls around his handsome pale face, his lips nearly as red as his eyes, hidden behind long black lashes. Noticing the staring teenager, Riddle flashed him a smile full of pearly white teeth.

"You look like a movie star."

"Wow Harry did you just compliment me!"

"Wow Tom did you just called me Harry?"

"Don't call me Tom." Whined Voldemort.

"D'you rather I called you Voldie?" Grinned Harry.

"Duh, Tom's fine." Added the Dark Lord with a scowl.

They eventually reached the one and only pub in Little Whining and sat at a table in a corner. The waitress took their command and bring back a minute latter a martini and a margarita.

"Well, did you give up about killing me?" asked Harry, very seriously.

Tom looked in the depths of his margarita and sighed.

"If you stop getting in my way, I wouldn't have to kill you."

"And let you kill everyone else?" replied the teenager raising an eyebrow.

"People should just obey, I wouldn't kill them. It's not MY fault they're too dumb to understand that."

Harry laughed genially. "Sure thing, Tom. Everybody is idiot and you are a genius."

"Eh, even you said so."

"What would you do if I promised to behave around you? To… let you have your fun?" asked Harry warily.

"Then I would ask you out." answered Tom very seriously.

The boy-who-lived just stared for a moment, his heart painfully hopping up and down in his chest. "Do you mean it?" he asked hopefully.

"Despite what you must have thought, I've never lied to you." The Dark Lord answered softly moving closer to Harry. They were barely an inch apart. The young wizard was paralyzed, all his muscles were tensed. Tom brushed his lips against Harry's who closed his eyes. Tom got bolder and deepened the kiss. Harry relaxed under the soft pressure and wrapped his arms around Tom's shoulders.

"This is so weird…" sighed Harry.

"Do you mind?" replied the Dark Lord.

"Not at all!" Harry, an impish smile on his face, exclaimed. "Best day ever!"

Voldemort chuckled softly and kissed the younger wizard again. "Huh, aren't you supposed to be backing home before Dumbly and his little Order begin to get suspicious?"

"Damn, I was getting comfortable there, muttered Harry from Voldie's chest. Might have spent the night." The teenager got up reluctantly and stretched. "Will I see you soon?"

"Yup yup yup! I'll find a way to drop by. Dash those stupid wards!" answered Tom also stretching.

They exited the pub and Tom disappeared home after giving Harry a soft goodnight kiss.

Glancing through the windows of number four privet drive, Harry cursed. Vernon was already up thus the youth couldn't enter through the back door in the kitchen. Nor could he open the front door without freaking out Tonks who was watching intently the front yard. With a sigh he realized he would have to climb up the gutter.

Once safe in his room, he sprawled out on his bed, panting, but happy nonetheless.

This day, Aunt Petunia and Uncle Vernon couldn't explain why their nephew was executing particularly nasty chores without any complaint. He even seemed to enjoy it since a dreamy smile was spreading on his face.

"Weird" said Petunia. Vernon shuddered and chocked on his spit.

In the middle of the afternoon, the bell on the door rang. "ANSWER THE DOOR BOY!" yelled Vernon. Harry rolled his eyes and opened the door. He couldn't help but stare. Tom Riddle was smiling at him from his doorstep. The teenager glanced at Tonks and Shacklebolt who were warily watching the visitor pointing their wands at him but doing nothing else. Harry raised an eyebrow.

"I have a Glamour spell on. Visible to anyone but you." The Dark Lord explained.

"Figures, smiled Harry, aren't you gonna come in?"

The two orders member sighed in relief when they saw Harry smile and stepping back to let the man in, they merely thought he was an acquaintance of the Dursleys.

In the house however, some people were not at all that pleased.

"Who is it?" asked Petunia from the living room.

Harry and Tom glanced at each other before cracking up. "'T is just my boyfriend Aunt Petunia!" called Harry.

In no time, Petunia and Vernon, followed by a sneering Dudley, were in the hallway glaring at the two raven-haired wizards.

"I DON'T WANT YOU FREAKS IN MY HOUSE! ESPECIALLY FAGS FREAKS!" Yelled Vernon, more purple than Harry ever saw him.

Tom cocked an eyebrow at Harry who nodded with a wave of his hand. The Dark Lord drew out his wand and seconds later, a horse a buffalo and a whale were trashing the living room.

In Harry's room, Tom and the boy-who-lived were inventing background information when the Order would ask about the young wizard who had changed the Dursleys into animals and was obviously a dear friend of Harry's.

"Okay, said Tom, so my name's Tom Kinney (A/N: hehehe, his glamour looks like Brian! Yummy!) and I'm a friend of yours from primary school. I'm a wizard and I was home schooled. I'm seventeen…" At that point, Tom laughed outright. "Ugh, poor old me, I'm what, sixty years older…"

"Don't worry Hun, you don't make it."

"I should hope so" winced the Dark Lord. Then he got up wearily with a sigh after a quick look at his watch. "I must go now…"

"Raid?" asked Harry.

"Yessss."

"I thought you let the dirty work to your minions." snorted the teen.

The Dark Lord shouted him an annoyed look. "I can't let those incompetent by themselves."

"If you didn't crucio them every time they open their mouth, they would have enough energy to blast the Aurors out of their way."

"Ha! Let's see if YOU can run a band of blood thirsty thick bullies with the purpose of conquer the world!"

"Tom love, are you admitting your goal is vain?" snickered Harry.

"Nooo, with your help, I CAN do it!" exclaimed Voldemort raising his fist in a cheerful way.

"Gee, such confidence in me! Should I feel honoured or scared?"

Tom stopped to think and replied shaking his head "Well, both really… Time to go! Kiss?"

They shared a last kiss and a hug before Tom exited the house, changing the Dursleys back.

When Harry climbed down the stairs, he found his relatives hiding in a corner of the kitchen, watching him with horror-filled eyes. Harry shrugged and took sandwiches from the fridge.

Once again, the doorbell rang. The young man wasn't surprise to discover scowling Dumbledore and McGonagall on his door step. He let them in and led them to the living room.

"Harry, my dear boy, you know we're very concerned about your safety…" begin the Headmaster.

"You are, aren't you?" replied Harry, a hinge of darkness in his eyes.

"Harry…" sighed Minerva.

"It's about Tom, isn't it?" said Harry, smirking inwardly as Albus and his deputy headmistress looked warily at each other. "Yeah, Tom came today, but it's okay, he's not dangerous or anything."

"T…Tom?"

Harry laughed outright. "Tom Kinney, my boyfriend. What Tom did you think it was?"

However, the professors weren't in a laughing mood. "Explain yourself." Said McGonagall sharply.

Harry took in most innocent look to glance at them.

"I met him at the muggle school. He turned out to be a wizard, home schooled y'know. He asked me out, I said yes… I really like him. He's a great supporter of you." Harry heard the mental snicker from Tom in his mind after his last sentence.

"We'd like for you to stay at Grimmauld Place with the Order for the remaining of the holydays." Said Dumbledore, blue eyes looking at the young man above his half-moon spectacles. Harry stepped back instinctively.

"No, I'll stay."

Albus smiled at the teen, eyes twinkling. "If this is about Tom, if you really trust him, he can tag along."

Harry remained speechless. He used this time to contact his lover telepathically.

_Hey Tom, you'd like to spy yourself on the enemy?_

_What have you done this time love?_

_Me? Nothing! Dumbly just said you were invited at the headquarters of the Order. _

_Wicked!_

"I'll ask him but I think he'll be ok" replied Harry, holding his laugh.

"We'll get you both tomorrow evening. We'll take a portkey."

Harry nodded and answered politely to the teachers' farewell. Once they had gone, Tom materialized at Harry's side.

"That man really IS too trusting. No wonder I managed to induct so much of my troops in the Order!" chuckled the Dark Lord.

"I know about Snape, who are the others?" laughed Harry.

"Nymphadora Tonks, Fred and George Weasley, Rose Fortson and Bilius Crive." Shrugged Tom.

Harry spun to face him, torn between shock and amusement. "Tonks and the twins? They're Death Eaters? No way!"

"Yes way. Tonks is a very bright young woman who has many contacts. Fred and George are both genius, you've seen their home-made pranks but they also made a lot of useful weapons for me. I believe their sister Ginevra is also Slytherin-like enough to consider joining my side, when she'll be a little older…"

Harry was watching him with eyes wide as saucers.

"Hey don't give me that look! YOU joined me, after all!"

"True." Said Harry, shaking his head out of amusement.

They spent the evening packing Harry's things and snogging every now and then.

The following evening, the two wizards were sitting in the living room when Dumbledore, Remus and Tonks arrived to pick them up. Harry introduced his friend to the adults. Tonks winked cheerfully at them. The headmaster produced a chain which they grabbed and were instantly transported in the House of Black.

"Welcome in the bird's lair, my lord." Whispered Tonks discreetly to her master. He nodded to her politely and hurried to catch up with Harry who already was greeting everybody in the kitchen. The young wizard introduced Tom to his friends. He couldn't help noticing the frown on Ginny's face. "Tom, this is Ginny Weasley." He said, a bit wary.

"Such a pleasure meeting such a fine young lady." Tom replied with a smirk, using the exact words the Tom from the diary had used four years previously. Ginny's eyes widened but she collected herself quickly. She raised an eyebrow at Harry who shrugged with a smile. The young witch looked back at Tom. "I'm glad Harry found a boyfriend, I hope you'll be able to keep him safe out of trouble."

In the evening, while Harry and Tom were unpacking in their chamber, Ginny opened the door, slipped inside and closed behind her very quickly. Tom sighed and cast a Silencing Barrier.

"Explain." Asked the witch sharply.

"I needed peace. If that meant joining Voldemort, so be it. Even better, we fell in love." Spoke softly the boy-who-lived. The red-haired girl nodded in understanding and looked expectantly at the Dark Lord.

"I had sensed through the bond that Harry had changed his views. I guessed it would be better for the Dark Side to have Harry Potter as an ally. It helps that he's such a cutie…" Tom added with a wink to his lover.

"I don't trust you." Snapped Ginny at Voldemort. The tall man cocked an eyebrow.

"And that is very wise of you. Don't trust anyone." He advised.

"Listen Gin, I trust him, but I only can because I know him enough, I can read his mind through the bond. And he knows he can trust me. I don't expect you to suddenly be his best-friend, just to keep us safe." Explained Harry in a soothing whisper.

Ginny scowled and considered what had been said for a few seconds. "Ok, I won't tell a thing. But I want something in exchange."

Harry sighed; Tom rolled his eyes and let himself drop on the couch.

"And what would you like, Miss Weasley?" the Dark Lord asked in a business tone.

The young lady smiled a genuine smile. "Just the safety of my family, and myself of course."

Tom nodded once. "No harm will come to them from me."

Ginny seemed to want to tell something else but she just shook her head and greeted them goodnight.

The following morning, a trip to Diagon Alley had been organized by the Ministry.

"Suuuch a long time I didn't came here!" laughed Tom.

Two Aurors were constantly tailing their arses and it proved very difficult to loose them in the crowd. Nevertheless, Harry Potter and Lord Voldemort weren't the two most powerful wizards in the world for nothing and gave them the slip at the first occasion.

They managed to slipped through the crowd to the twins' shop without being followed.

"Hello Harry!" called Fred from behind the counter.

"Hello Boss!" Added George with a wave of his hand.

"Hi!" replied Harry very cheerfully. Tom merely smiled.

The two red-head gave the young wizard the tour of their shop, explaining each new invention. Then, they led the dark lord and his companion in the back store where were kept their dark artefacts.

The twins presented some useful weapons, and nasty looking bone-like objects which could put on the holder a terrible curse.

"Wicked" said Harry.

"Wicked" agreed Tom.

Back in the front shop, they found the Aurors utterly mad and suffered through half an hour of reprimands.


	2. Something I did

**Trust no one, obey to no one, and care for no one**

…**except…**

**Disclaimer**: I wish JKR would give me the rights of Harry Potter for Christmas… Fat chance… Please don't sue me!

**Rating**: Offers Lemon drops around Loads of Lemon to come… NC-17! Nyark!

**Pairings**: Harry Voldie, Remus Sirius, Lucius Sevvie…

**Warning**: Ron, Hermione and Dumbles bashing, torture and Violence! And very probably SLASH! If you don't like it, GET THE HELL OUT OF HERE YOU BASTARD!

**Categories**: humour & fluff! But the world DOES grow dark… soooo weeell, let's just say: party time for the dark side!

Thanks to everyone who reviewed! I loooooooove you so much!

On with the story!

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Chapter 2: Something I did

"Eeeeew!" said Ron when he stepped into the bedroom in Grimmauld place.

He had been told Harry had fallen in love over the summer but he wasn't prepared for THAT.

A tall, brown haired, handsome guy… yup, definitely a guy… was sprawled on Harry, trailing his tongue on the skin of the green-eyed wizard.

Hermione didn't say anything but she gasped and then turned as red as Ron's hair.

Tom got up lazily from the bed and extended his hand for Ron to shake.

"Hi, I'm Tom Kinney… And you must be Ron and Hermione?" he added when neither of Harry's friend moved nor answered the silent question.

The both nodded then fled the room like if they had seen a ghost, or maybe Voldie himself. This had Harry laughing his unclad arse off.

"Is it something I did or something I said?" Tom said, smirking slightly.

"Oh, most certainly something you did, love." Answered the Boy-Who-Lived, referring to the tongue thing they had been doing since lunch.

Later, at lunch, there was an almost unbearable silence coming from the Weasley side of the room. However, Fred and George were cheerfully explaining Harry and the Dark Lord about a new prank of theirs. Hermione finally gave up and shouted in Tom's direction

"You're a BOY!"

Tom was shocked into silence for a few seconds before cracking up.

"Harry told me you were smart, Hermione, but I didn't think you would be THAT smart!" Voldemort answered with a snort.

Harry nudged him but it was clear to everyone that he was biting back his laugh.

"That's sick." Stated Molly. Then she took a very haughty expression, which reminded Harry of Percy, and added "I know you've been having a hard time with the war, Harry but I didn't expect you to loose your mind in such a disgusting way."

Silence.

'We should have explained things to the Weasleys before inviting them… Ginny's been here before but she seemed understanding I assumed her family would be ok with this relationship.' thought Remus.

Obviously, the Weasleys weren't ok with the relationship.

Obviously, Tom didn't took it well.

Obviously, the cover of Tom Kinney was now useless.

Dark crimson eyes glared at the red-haired family –expect the twins and Ginny who had carefully taken shelter behind Harry's back- and the bushy haired witch.

Molly let out a strangled noise. Then she dropped dead in a flash of green light.

"Oooooh. Green light. Pretty!" said Harry.

The sarcasm coming from his lover seemed to wash Tom's anger off.

"Fuck." He hissed.

Harry rolled his eyes and got his wand out. "Evanesco". Molly's body vanished from sight.

"Obliviate."

"Hey! Harry! Have you seen Mum? She was supposed to come here too but she is late!" Asked Ron as he stepped in the drawing room. The red-haired boy shot Tom a venomous look before turning back to his best friend.

"Well, no, that's weird… I hope she's alright!" answered Harry with a concerned look on his features.

"Oh, well, thank you…" Then the embarrassed Gryffindor went on with his search.

Tonks looked up from the book she was reading. "Where did you send the body, by the way, Harry?"

The young wizard shrugged. "Talk show."

Tom and Tonks stared at him. They had no idea what a talk show was. Harry explained. They stared.

Far away from the scene, Conan O'Brien was having a heart attack.

FLAP FLAP FLAP FLAP

HOOT!

"Go away" muttered Harry in his sleep. From far away, he also heard a chuckle as Tom extended his arm for the owl to perch on, then he carefully detached the letter from the bird's leg and let it flew back through the window.

"It's almost one O'clock in the afternoon, love. You aren't a morning person, are you?"

Harry grunted and threw the covers on his head before drifting back to sleep.

He only woke up when Tom gasped in surprise, a Hogwarts letter in his hand.

"The barmy old codger wants me to come to the school this year… Is he really that blind? I thought he would have discover the truth by now; at least have doubts about me, especially after the Molly thingy."

"Hey, Dumbly is just smart like that." laughed Harry.

"You know, I always wanted to go back to Hogwarts!" Smiled Tom.

"To unleash that great basilisk pet of yours?" Teased Harry. His lover shot him an annoyed look.

"I still haven't forgiven you for her death you know."

"Oh, what could I do to make it up to you, then." Asked Harry in a seductive purr.

"Well, for a start, you could invite me on a romantic date, like a picnic or a night at the opera. Or maybe we could just have hot sex on Ron's bed, just for the fun of seeing him burn the covers and the mattress."

Harry shook his head in amusement.

"I like the way your mind works, Mr Riddle."

Harry closed the distance between them and brushed his lips against the older wizard's. Voldemort snaked his arms around the teen's shoulders and waist and deepened the kiss, running his tongue in the mouth he knew so well by now. He slid his hands on Harry's back and thighs. Then he fell on his knees and kissed the boy's cock several times before swallowing it and sucking lightly.

Harry moaned his lover's name, and then screamed it as he came into the Dark Lord's mouth.

The sky was blue; the birds were singing and the flowers blossoming. What a beautiful day.

The platform nine and three quarter was crowded with students laughing and parents crying.

In the red train, Ron and Hermione quickly found a compartment where Seamus, Neville, Dean and Luna were already sat. When Harry glanced at them, Ron mouthed silently:

"Sorry mate."

Tom rolled his eyes and opened the next door, Harry and he settled in the compartment. The door soon opened again and Draco appeared in the frame.

"Potter." He nodded in greetings. Then he turned to face Tom and bowed respectfully.

Tom nodded back and Harry smiled. "Hey Draco! Come in."

"So, you've finally realized how much better Slytherins were, Harry?" the blond asked with a smirk.

"If you start the 'I told you so' speech, I'll set Voldie on your arse." Joked the green eyed wizard.

"Oh I would love that! OUCH!" Tom had just received Harry's elbow in the stomach, but he was still trying not to laugh.

Draco cracked up.

"Hey boys, having fun without me?" Asked Ginny, sitting beside Draco across from the Dark Lord and the Dark-Lord-to-be.

Tom regained his seriousness right away.

"Ginny, I've been trying to talk to you for weeks. Listen, about your mum…"

But the young woman waved him off.

"Don't bother. What she said was disgusting. She deserved what she got."

"Hum… what about your mum?" Asked Draco, a bit lost.

Molly's death had been all over the Muggle news, since Harry teleported her right on television, but oddly enough, the Daily Prophet never mentioned the 'accident'.

"I killed her." Simply stated Tom.

"Oh." Draco shrugged.

"By the way Gin, Harry asked suddenly, where HAVE you been those last weeks?"

The witch's eyes danced with mirth and mischief.

"Planning…"

"Planning what?" Asked Tom sharply.

"Major planning. Secret. Now shush Milord, I would hate to spoil the surprise." Replied Ginny, fully enjoying herself.

Pansy opened the door then and peeked inside. "Draco? I've been looking for you."

She looked at the two gryffindors and the newcomer with mild interest.

"She's safe." Said Draco. Tom nodded and dropped the Glamour on his eyes for a few seconds. The young Slytherins looked stunned then grasped herself and bowed like Draco had.

"My Lord."

Tom smiled. "You haven't joined me yet." He stated.

Pansy blushed and mumbled something that sounded like "adunlakttoo".

Harry cocked an eyebrow and said "Come again."

"I don't like tattoos." Admitted the black haired girl looking downcast.

Tom laughed. "Narcissa said exactly the same thing when she was to be marked years ago. Must be a female trait."

"Oh, no, I would loooooooove such a nice tattoo on my arm! I mean, a skull sticking out his snake tongue at everyone, it's every girl dream!" shot back Ginny.

Tom ignored her comment.

"Is that why Mum is always wearing a Dark Mark ring?" Asked Draco.

"Well yes, I had to come up with something." Tom sighed.

"So, you do jewellery too?" Asked Pansy.

"Sure, I'll take a ring for you next time I go home."

Pansy smiled brightly as Harry sank into his seat, pretending to pout.

"You are giving rings to pretty girls but what about your own boyfriend?"

Tom stared at Harry then hissed in Parseltongue

I've got a surprise for you; I'll give it to you in the Chamber ok?

Harry relaxed against his lover's chest and smiled. He knew very well that Tom was speaking of the Chamber of Secrets. Tom had inform him that behind the Chamber itself was a room well furnished and very cosy. They had planned to retrieve to it, if need be. And need will most certainly be.

I love surprises.


	3. In the lion's den

**Trust no one, obey to no one, and care for no one**

…**except…**

**Disclaimer**: I wish JKR would give me the rights of Harry Potter for Christmas… Fat chance… Please don't sue me!

**Rating**: Offers Lemon drops around Loads of Lemon to come… NC-17! Nyark!

**Pairings**: Harry Voldie, Remus Sirius, Lucius Sevvie…

**Warning**: Ron, Hermione and Dumbles bashing, torture and Violence! And very probably SLASH! If you don't like it, GET THE HELL OUT OF HERE YOU BASTARD!

**Categories**: humour & fluff! But the world DOES grow dark… soooo weeell, let's just say: party time for the dark side!

I updated very quickly and the chapter is shorter, I know. But I'm going to London next weekend to visit my brother and I won't be able to write, so consider it a Halloween gift! I hope I will be able to keep up with the updates but my exams will come so quickly! sigh

Thanks for the reviews; they're keeping my old dark soul warm!

Yeah, and I must explain something: Harry & co will be starting their seventh year; Sirius is not dead because I like him, he's just hanging around Grimmauld Place, ya know… and Dumbledore is not dead because I want him to suffer.

Keys:

-Speech- : Parseltongue

_Speech_: Telepathy

Chapter 3: In the lion's den

"Welcome back, my dear students, and welcome to the first years that are to be sorted in a few minutes. I'd like also to introduce Mr Tom Kinney who will join us for his seventh year, He'll be sorted now." Dumbledore turned toward an annoyed Tom who'd rather liked to be sorted in private. He sat on the stool and put the hat on the top of his head, sulking.

GRYFFINDOR announced the old hat thirty seconds later.

Draco, Pansy, Ginny and Harry looked at him with eyes wide as saucers, as Tom settled himself between his lover and the red haired witch.

"Harry, love, stop gaping, you'll swallow flies." He snorted in amusement.

"What are YOU doing in Gryffindor?" Gasped Harry.

_Well I really didn't want to spend every waking hour having minions worshipping me from breakfast to bedtime._

_Oh, I thought it was your goal in life… _replied Harry with a wicked grin.

Tom spared him with his best death glare and the Gryffindor table shivered, wondering what the fuck was going on. The tension eased when Harry softly chuckled and hugged his lover.

Then, Harry & co froze again, along with Tom this time but Ginny just sniggered. It was now obvious what she had spent weeks planning, highly likely with the help of the Twins.

Bellatrix Lestrange sat a chair between Snape and Dumbledore, long black hair flowing silkily on her shoulder, full red lips curved into a self satisfactory smile. She turned toward her Lord and raised her cup.

"Ginny… WHAT exactly is going on here?" growled Voldemort, a little annoyed.

"The twins set up the Glamour, even Mad-Eye couldn't see through that one. When she heard you were going to have fun at Hogwarts, she got jealous." Smirked the young witch.

Tom sighed but smiled none the less to his most faithful Death Eater. Well, after Harry that is, of course.

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Later, in the seventh year Gryffindor dorm.

"Ron, stop trying to hide behind your pillow, we're not gonna contaminate you or anything." Sighed Tom.

"Not that Seamus would mind." Added the raven haired wizard.

"Hey!" Said Seamus, though he was smiling broadly.

Ron merely squeaked and tried to hide better.

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"CRUCIO!"

Mrs Norris let out a horrible noise that sounded pretty much like a fire warning. Harry winced and cast a silencing spell.

"See? That's how you're supposed to do it." Explained Tom as he lifted the curse. Harry sighed and crucioed the cat once again, resulting in the same fire warning sound. The Dark Lord clapped.

"You got it! Congratulations, you're now officially a dark wizard!"

They had spend the evening in the chamber of secrets, snogging, mostly, and practising the Unforgivables. Harry was really becoming good at it, especially since he enjoyed so much the sight of a body jerking in pain. 'Well maybe Dobby didn't liked it much', thought the green eyed wizard as he eyed the rigid form of the house elf in a corner of the chamber, 'but he HAD been glad to help me with my homework…'

"Now, Tom, you DID tell me about a surprise…" Begun Harry. He was interrupted by Tom's hot lips bruising his own.

"I wanted to give you this…" And Tom got a small red box out of his pocket. Harry took it, and opened it. He stood there speechless for about a minute, eyes a bit wet.

"Tom… Is that what I think it is?"

Tom nodded and took the gold ring with the big black stone before sliding it on Harry's ring finger.

"That ring has been within my family for generations, it's the Peverell coat of arms. There are a lot of charms on it to protect you from legimilency, Veritaserum, Imperius, most curses and spells and also unfriendly magical creatures. I really want you to wear it. I love you."

A lot of fluff and smuttiness ensued but really, so sickenly fluffy! I won't even bother to describe it. Let's just assume Salazar's statue would have made a run for his life if only it could move.

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Taptaptaptaptaptaptaptaptaptap sigh taptaptaptaptaptaptaptaptaptap sigh

_If that Irish cunt doesn't stop tapping his pen against the desk, I think I'm gonna snap._

Harry looked at the Dark Lord at his side and quickly put his hand over the man's eyes.

_Eyes, Tom. You might want to be careful there, love. You've chosen to come back to school, deal with its boredom and annoying brats._

_How come you're not an annoying brat, Harry? _Replied Voldemort, silently re-casting the brown glamour on his eyes. Hopefully, as they were in Binns' class, the only student not asleep was Hermione and she was too busy writing notes to notice a red eyed evil dark lord sitting across from her.

_You crucioed me too much for me to be a brat anymore, Tom._

_Oh…_ Tom had the decency to look at his hands in shame, _I did, didn't I?_

_Yes, but don't you dare apologize!_

Tom snorted, which caused several students to look oddly at him.

_Wasn't going to, love._

Harry squeezed his lover's hand under the desk and gave a small smile.

_I like it when you're all evil and insane…_

_Would you like me to crucio you again?_ Tom looked a bit startled but was still laughing lightly.

_Nooo, but it looks soooo sexy when you cast it._

_Oh, is that why you joined me in the first place? To have an orgasm each time I cast an Unforgivable?_

_I can't wait for the next Death Eater meeting! I'll have Lucius do a very stupid thing just for the occasion!_ Answered Harry gleefully.

Tom groaned and buried his head in his arm.

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"MY LOOOOOOOORD!"

As soon as Harry and Tom had stepped into Bellatrix's rooms, the lady had jumped into the black haired man's arms.

"Hey Bella… err… you do know that Harry could get jealous, don't you?"

Bella finally separated herself from Tom and smiled broadly at Harry before kissing him on both cheeks. (A/N: Not THOSE cheeks!)

"Sorry Honey but Tommy is suuuch a cutie!" she laughed brightly and then she giggled like a school girl.

Tom rolled his eyes. "Bella's been pampering me since I marked her. I think she always lacked having children of her own."

"OOOOOh, that was mean Hon!" Said the witch with a mocked hurt expression.

Then, she overenthusiastically proceeded to settle the two wizards in plush chairs with chocolate cakes and hot chocolate in large mugs in front of them.

"So, what do you think of Mommy Bella, love?" Asked Tom with a fake cheerful tone. Bellatrix smiled and kissed the top of Tom's head.

"You really needed a mother." Harry answered seriously, "Thank you Bellatrix." He added sincerely. Tom blushed and tried to hide behind his mug.

"Don't you need a mother too, dear?" Asked the lady, sitting on Harry's chair's arm.

"I had Mrs Weasley, before she turned out to be an utter bitch." Muttered the young wizard gloomily.

Bellatrix ruffled his hair fondly and threw the plate with the chocolate cake into his hands. "Eat." She ordered. Harry grinned and tucked in.

"HA! I'm not the only one you try to force-feed!" Cheered Tom, lips covered with chocolate cream.

"If you Dark Lords weren't so skinny, I wouldn't have to nag you about your poor eating habits!" She protested innocently.

Harry swallowed his cake and turned questioning eyes on the witch.

"What are you going to teach us this year, by the way?"

Bellatrix's eyes gleamed dangerously as the corner of her mouth twisted into a cold smirk, reminding Harry that she was indeed a Death Eater.

"Oh, I planned to teach you lots of pleasant useful things. I'm just gonna drop the 'defence against' part."

Tom shook his head. "You'll get fired within a month time."

Bellatrix smirk widened, showing sharp white teeth. "No no, the old fool okayed it."

"Albus agreed to let you teach us Dark Arts?" gasped Harry.

"Of course, he would want his little army to be quite operational by the end of the year to fight us, even if it means breaking a thousand ministry rules in the process." Tom realized.

"Aren't we glad his master plan relies on me… He won't tell me his silly little plans, he never has. But this time, if the last battle must take place, he'll have the shock of his life."

Harry smirked his best evil© smile.

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A/N: I love chocolate. Do you like my Bellatrix? I didn't plan that to happen at all but a plot bunny hit me…

Anyway, I think I'm gonna make it a Ginny/Pansy, if you have any objections, tell me before it's too late! Also, I don't know who I should put Draco with, which guy would be worthy of his sexiness? Big Problem… I really can't see him with Blaise… Theodore I don't know. Certainly not a Gryffindor and I don't want an original character, even if it's a name taken from canon. Ah, I'm so complicated! Help! stares for hours at DracoPlushie, hopping to get a sign

Reviews would be welcome!

Love and Kisses


	4. The Master and the Potion Master

**Trust no one, obey to no one, and care for no one**

…**except…**

**Disclaimer**: I wish JKR would give me the rights of Harry Potter for Christmas… Fat chance… Please don't sue me!

**Rating**: Offers Lemon drops around Loads of Lemon to come… NC-17! Nyark!

**Pairings**: Harry Voldie, Remus Sirius, Lucius Sevvie…

**Warning**: Ron, Hermione and Dumbles bashing, torture and Violence! And very probably SLASH! If you don't like it, GET THE HELL OUT OF HERE YOU BASTARD!

**Categories**: humour & fluff! But the world DOES grow dark… soooo weeell, let's just say: party time for the dark side!

Sorry for the wait, guys, I've been very busy with my studies and everything… Anyway, thank you all for the reviews, you all are the best! The fourth film's release is so near, now, I'm all excited! Of course, most of you must have seen it already. Raaah! I hate being French, it sucks.

Keys:

-Speech- : Parseltongue

_Speech_: Telepathy

Chapter 4: the master and the potion master

Lessons with Bellatrix were incredibly fun. Well, for Tom and Harry that is.

'Cause for everyone else, it could sometimes be painful. They had been studying blood curses and summons of dark creatures so far.

Harry had almost succeeded in teaching an Inferi how moonwalk. Not that it was plan for the lesson, but since the two Dark Wizards already had mastered it all, they had a lot of free time, while the pupils were being attacked by their creations.

Of course, Poppy Pomfrey complained a lot against 'this mad woman with her silly grin and weird way of talking'. At least, the staff didn't know about that Lethifold pet of hers…

"Come on! We don't have all night!" whined Tom, looking constantly at his watch.

"But I want to look at my best!" Answered his lover in the same tone.

It had already been three weeks since the last Death Eater meeting Tom held and Bella reported that some were wondering whether the Dark Lord was on vacation or had caught the flu or something… As fun as Hogwarts was, Voldemort still had a world to conquer. Therefore, he decided that He and Harry should summon the Death Eater and plan an attack.

Tom was full aware that random raids were hopeless and wouldn't help for world conquering but he now had a plan. He flashed a smug smile. Harry cocked an eyebrow.

"What?" the young wizard asked, a bit annoyed.

"Nothing." Replied Tom with mocked innocence. "You'll know at the meeting."

The Boy-Who-Lived shook his head and returned to his previous occupation, namely choosing nice clothes to wear at his first Meeting. Tom sighed and grabbed a dark green velvet robe, immobilizing Harry before dressing him up himself. Released, Harry scowled at him but said nothing. He spelled his hair to be messier than usual, just to give him an even more 'just-been-shagged' look.

"Ready!" He finally called.

Tom sighed in relief and put a white mask on his lover's face.

"I know you're dying to make an entrance." He smirked before casting a Glamour on himself; making him look like the Voldemort he once was, all snake-like and as slim as a skeleton. Just to scare that useless bunch of idiots, he explained. Then he slipped his arm around Harry's waist and Apparated both of them in the reception room in Riddle Manor. Bellatrix, Rodolphus and Rabastan were already waiting for them; all dressed in black and masked.

They kneeled before the Dark Lord.

"Good Evening to you too, Rod can I borrow your arm for a second?"

"Of course!" Smiled the Death Eater before rolling up his sleeve and extending his arm to let Voldemort call all of his servants. The mark on his forearm burned and several minutes, the cloaked figures began Apparating, circling the Dark Lord and the shorter figures at his side.

When the last of them had taken his place in the wide circle, Voldemort cleared his throat. Immediate silence ensued.

"Before planning the doom of the wizarding world, I have a great news to give you. Something happened, a thing that will ensure our victory over those fools of the Light."

He paused, just for dramatic effect and his grip on Harry's waist tightened.

"Harry Potter joined us."

Harry stepped forward and removed his mask. He offered them his patented Evil Smile, just to show how dark he was now.

Several gasped were heard and one of them even fainted. The few who had known (namely the Lestrange and the Malfoy) sniggered.

Voldemort didn't even bothered to hide his amusement. "You will give him the same respect you give me and he is to be called Lord and be listened to. If you show him any disrespect, you'll find yourself facing an atrocious death. Is that understood?"

A chorused of "Yes my Lord" answered him. Then for the first time Harry spoke.

"Thank you. Like you all know, I have a lot of contact with the Order of the Phoenix. I have information I can give because I wasn't placed under the secrecy spell Dumbledore usually use on the Order's members. (He nodded to Tonks and the Twins) Although I regretfully cannot give the address of the headquarters, there's an important issue we'll have to deal with tonight." The boy could almost feel the fear radiating from the Potion Master standing right in front of him. God, it felt so good having the greasy git at his mercy!

"Severus Snape." He called, very proud of himself.

"So, you betray me, Snape?" hissed the Dark Lord.

The professor stepped forward shakily and kneeled.

"N…no Master. I didn't tell a…anything…" he stuttered, sounding very much like Wormtail.

Harry cocked an eyebrow-he really was becoming good at that- and snorted.

"Really?" Drawled the new Lord.

Snape took his mask off and glared at Harry.

"Traitor!" He spit with all his hatred, not having much hope about his future.

Voldemort raised his wand. "Cru…"

Harry stopped him with his hand. "No, let him speak. It's true he has such an experience with being a traitor. I could learn from him…" the young wizard explained with a voice tainted with sarcasm.

Snape was becoming more and more desperate by the minute, which was very out of character.

"You have allowed this Dark Lord to twist your mind until now . . . until now you have become the very thing you swore to destroy. You were the Chosen One! It was said that you would, destroy the Dark Lord, not join him. It was you who would bring balance to the magic, not leave it in Darkness!" (A/n: ha-ha. Take THAT Obi Wan!)

Harry's lips curled in amusement.

"How foolish. Relying on a person to saved the world. If they can't save themselves, then they're not worthy of breathing the same air as I." He replied haughtily.

A single tear escaped the potions master's eyes before he was engulfed in the green light coming from Harry's wand.

Now, Harry Potter truly was a Dark Lord.

The sudden disappearance of the Potions Master fed the gossip mill of Hogwarts for the following week. Dumbledore held many Order's meetings to sort things out. It was obvious Voldemort had somehow learned of the man's double game. The question was: who had betrayed them all?

Said Traitor was actually quite proud of himself. He liked being treated like a Lord, even feared. It was a nice change from those Light Bastards who still see him as a child.

Tom slipped under the covers and cuddled against Harry.

_You know, it's a dorm. There are four other people a few feet away…_

_Yes I know… But the way you killed Snape… _

Tom didn't need to explain his thoughts as Harry's tongue was already invading his mouth, hips moving against his. The green eyed wizard muttered a silencing spell and then returned to his previous task.

It was a good thing the other boys couldn't hear them because Tom came very loudly when Harry hit his prostate a last time before losing himself in his own orgasm.

"I love you." Said Tom, with so much emotion in his voice that Harry nearly cried with happiness.

"I love you too." He whispered in a content sigh.

A/N: Very short chapter, I know… Don't whine, please, just be grateful I DID update… I'll have a lot of exams, then it will be Christmas break and I don't have internet at my parent's house… so don't expect any update before the middle of January (I still have exams just after the New Year)

Anyway, please review, when I will have to learn by heart my hundreds of pages about administrative laws, it will keep me happy!

And aren't you just dying to know what it was that Tom was smiling about and told Harry he would explain at the meeting? Ha-ha!


	5. Ghostly Charms

**Trust no one, obey to no one, and care for no one**

…**except…**

**Disclaimer**: I wish JKR would give me the rights of Harry Potter for Christmas… Fat chance… Please don't sue me!

**Rating**: Offers Lemon drops around Loads of Lemon to come… NC-17! Nyark!

**Pairings**: Harry Voldie, Remus Sirius, Lucius Sevvie…

**Warning**: Ron, Hermione and Dumbles bashing, torture and Violence! And very probably SLASH! If you don't like it, GET THE HELL OUT OF HERE YOU BASTARD!

**Categories**: humour & fluff! But the world DOES grow dark… soooo weeell, let's just say: party time for the dark side!

Sorry for the wait, guys, I've been very busy with my studies and everything… Anyway, thank you all for the reviews, you all are the best!

Keys:

-Speech- : Parseltongue

_Speech_: Telepathy

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Chapter 5: Ghostly Charms

It was Christmas. All the students had left the Castle to go back to their home.

Draco was very happy to go back home. He couldn't wait to hug his parents, to eat Christmas pudding and drink a lot of Eggnog, to unwrap his presents… Of course, his dad wouldn't be as cheerful as usual, with Sev death… It was no secret in the Malfoy family that Lucius and Narcissa got married because that was what their parents had planned for them. The truth was Narcissa had been involved with Tonks for a while now and Lucius never hid his love for Severus. The blond man, however, didn't hold any grudge against Harry. He was just disappointed in his lover.

When Draco stepped inside Malfoy Manor, he met a very unusual sight. There were several broken china jars, the carpet wasn't where it should and Narcissa was sitting on the stairs rubbing at her temples.

"Mum? Did something happened? Did the Ministry…" the blond boy asked, a bit shaken.

"No…no, we just have a… unexpected guest." The witch answered with a smile as she stood to kiss her son on the top of his head.

"A guest?" asked Draco incredulously. They never had any guest on Christmas.

Then, he heard someone shouting and running. What he saw after that left him speechless. He almost fainted.

Severus Snape's ghost glided through the entrance hall, followed by a frantic Lucius, almost as white as his dead lover.

"Sev! You can't tell! If Dumbledore wins, they'll kill me! Sev wait! Pleeeeaaaase! Listen I forgive you for spying all those years! I loooooooove you!"

Ghost-Snape turned sharply and Lucius nearly ran through him.

"Potter killed me, Lucius. I want to turn the little shit in. I HATE him! As soon as I figure out how to get off here, I WILL!" the transparent man said, looking really pissed off.

Lucius sighed; he didn't have the energy to argue with the man when he was so stuck up about Harry Potter.

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Riddle Manor:

Harry stretched like a cat on the over-stuffed sofa. It really felt like home. Tom conjured a couple of logs in the hearth and lit them up before laying down next to Harry to let the teen curl up against him.

Remus and Sirius had been disappointed that Harry turned down their offer to spend Christmas at Grimmauld Place, just the three of them. But, thought Harry, surely THEY would understand that a boy could want to spend some time alone with his boyfriend. Besides, Harry wasn't too keen to spend two weeks alone with his godfathers who tended to behave like teenagers in love. Even Tom and he didn't giggle and blush like five years old!

So, after much nagging by Dumbledore and McGonagall, Tom and Harry were able to floo away from Hogwarts. Bellatrix insisted they took a bag full of Tupperware containing two weeks supplies of food. She obviously doubted their cooking abilities. What could you expect from men anyway?

Before Tom and Harry left the Castle, however, they had prepared a little Christmas surprise for the old fart. On this bright Christmas morning, after an unbelievable night of Christmas sex, as they lay on the couch, Tom looked at his watch.

"Three… two… oooone." He then conjured a kind of screen and Harry grabbed some pop-corn.

On the screen, Hogwarts' corridors appeared and they saw Filch turning around a corner. The old ugly man went all stiff and glassy eyed. The two dark wizards watch as he walked mechanically through the school and the grounds. Filch stopped in front of Hagrid's hut and knocked on the door. The half-giant opened and glared at the filthy caretaker.

"Is ther' somefin' ya want Argus?"

"Avada Kedavra."

Tom and Harry cheered as Hagrid hit the ground with a loud thump. They laughed their asses off when Fang launched himself at Filch who had just been freed from the imperius curse and at a look of disgust, fear and panic on his face.

The dark lords snickered as Dumbledore and McGonagall hurried through the lawn to discover a very dead gamekeeper and an agonizing caretaker.

Tom banished the screen and bend down to kiss a beaming Harry. The Light was so screwed.

"Let's open presents!" called Harry cheerfully once his lips were released.

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The ends of the holydays came way too soon in Harry and Tom's opinion. On the Hogwarts express, Ron and Hermione tried to invent a lame excuse to avoid the couple. As a matter of fact, the two dark wizards had put up a show earlier, snogging every time they came across the red-haired and his bossy girlfriend.

As Draco settled down on the seat facing the Dark Lord, he suggested 'disposing' of the two Gryffindors as soon as possible.

"Yup" agreed Tom, "the dorm would be much more comfortable with more room and less stench of muggle-loving dimwit."

"Oh, we have plenty of room! You're just too messy." Argued Harry.

The remaining of the journey was spent play-fighting and eventually, they arrived at Hogwarts to be welcomed by a grim looking staff.

Once they were sited at their respective tables, Dumbles stood up and announced the tragic deaths of Hagrid and Filch.

Harry looked utterly depressed and even started crying on Tom's shoulder.

_They should award me an Oscar!_ He sniggered in his lover's mind.

On the other side of the Hall, the slytherins were unsuccessfully trying to repress their smiles but there were no more Professor Snape to glare at them.

Malfoy Manor:

"HA! At last!"

"What?" sighed a very tired Lucius.

A floating transparent Severus Snape pointed at a book. "I need to perform a ritual; it can give me a semi-corporeal form!"

"Sevi, love, I'm quite confused. What are you talking about?"

"I'm talking about coming back and giving Potter what he well deserved!"

Lucius shook his head and dropped heavily on the nearest couch with a strong vodka-martini.

Hogwarts Castle:

"Bella, you can't really expect from students to perform right away a complete dark blood-bond with the realm of Darkness, can you?" sighed the Dark Lord, rubbing the bridge of his nose.

Bellatrix bounced through her office, collecting a few vials and checking her hair in the different mirrors on the wall.

"Yes I can Tommylove! Those children are SO smart! They'll make such wonderful Death Eater later!" she giggled.

"Tom's right. If they fail, they'll go straight to hell. And they're far from being dark enough to perform the ritual."

Bella looked put out for a second but her everlasting smile reappeared very quickly.

"Oh well, I'll teach the ritual first. We'll do the real bond later."

Harry and Tom looked at each other.

_Thank Satan she dropped it._

_Although… that gives me one hell of an idea._

Harry raised an eyebrow and Tom winked, meaning he would explain later.

Later, in the Chamber of Secrets:

"So?" asked Harry.

"It's about our great plan of turning everybody in the world dark-and killing the others. We can use Bella's ritual to turn all the seventh year."

"But how? Surely they wouldn't be attracted to crude dark arts…"

"Yeah, but the point of this ritual is to witness Hell, innit? And you've seen Hell; you know they might be tempted by the darkness if we show them… the interesting places."

"Are you suggesting organizing a sight-seeing tour of Hell?"

Tom thought about it a few seconds and answered with a wide smile.

"That's the idea!"

"Well, let's make sure they see that wonderful swimming pool, and also the night club…"

And they laughed evilly before eating the cookies Bella had given them.

Malfoy Manor:

"Hahahahahaha! I'm back! Potter, beware!" And with that, Snape left the Manor, humming 'On her Majesty's Secret Service's tune.

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A/N: I know who Draco will end up with! And you're gonna hate me! Mouhahahaha! But what can you expect from a slytherin, eh? See, Snape didn't go very far! I like him very much but I needed his ghost…


	6. The Spy Who Loved Me

**Trust no one, obey to no one, and care for no one**

…**except…**

**Disclaimer**: I wish JKR would give me the rights of Harry Potter for Christmas… Fat chance… Please don't sue me! And by the way, when you recognize something from a movie, it belongs to the person who owns the rights of this movie, K?

**Rating**: Offers Lemon drops around Loads of Lemon to come… NC-17! Nyark!

**Pairings**: Harry Voldie, Remus Sirius, Lucius Sevvie…

**Warning**: Ron, Hermione and Dumbles bashing, torture and Violence! And very probably SLASH! If you don't like it, GET THE HELL OUT OF HERE YOU BASTARD!

**Categories**: humour & fluff! But the world DOES grow dark… soooo weeell, let's just say: party time for the dark side!

I was reading Abandon by Batsutousai for the hundred time and suddenly, I imagined Tom speaking with a northern accent. Don't ask me why but I can't imagine him speaking differently now… I must have watched Two Pints of Lager too much I guess… OOOOOh yes I can clearly see Tom and Harry dressed in sportswear talking with the accent (which I think is really sexy by the way…not the sportswear, though) and drinking lager, eating crisps, throwing darts at a photo of Dumbledore… But that is another story…

And well, as Tom was brought up in London in the thirties, he should have a strong cockney accent… What do you think?

Keys:

-Speech- : Parseltongue

_Speech_: Telepathy

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Chapter 6: The Spy Who Loved Me

Lucius sighed when he saw Hogwarts standing proudly next the vast lake. He silently made his way to the kitchen door and pushed it as quietly as he could. As it was Sunday morning, there wasn't any student in the corridors and he reached Bellatrix' door quickly. Somehow, he wasn't surprised to discover the Dark Lord and Harry Potter laying on the couch in the living room, a few empty bottles testifying that Saturday nights were well used.

"My Lord?" the blond wizard whispered tentatively. "My Lord, are you awake?"

The Dark Lord answered by snoring a bit louder.

"Master… Master! MASTER!" shouted a very worried and very impatient Lucius.

Tom snored and Harry let out a sleepy whine before falling into deep sleep once again.

"Lucius? What the fuck are you on about?" yawned an irritated Bellatrix. "Shout louder, there must be a centaur in the Forest who didn't ear you."

"Oh Bella! Sorry but it's really very much urgent a lot!"

"Oooookay…"

The black haired witch raised her raised wand, aiming at the two sleeping wizards.

"Aguamenti!"

"FOR THE FUCK OF GOD!" yelled a wet dark lord. Harry just rubbed his eyes.

"They're all yours, Lulu!" giggled the witch with a smug grin on her face.

Lucius, feeling the danger of the situation, spilled out his news very fast.

"SeviscomingtotellDumbledoreaboutHarry!"

Tom blinked a few times and, while drying himself with his wand, asked as calmly as he could manage:

"Repeat that sloooowly."

"Severus managed to leave my Manor. He's on his way to Hogwarts to warn Dumbledore."

"How many times will I have to kill him?" whined Harry who was changing into his school robes.

"Ah, you see how enraging it is when people just won't die?" smirked Tom.

The green eyed wizard stuck out his tongue and turned to Lucius.

"Thanks for the warning… I know this entire story affects you a lot… You were in love, weren't you?"

Lucius' eyes went dark for a second. "Yes, we were… I thought I knew him."

Harry gave him a warm smile. "Don't worry; I know what it feels like to have your world completely overthrown."

Lucius bowed stiffly and exited the room as fast as he could.

'The Dark Lord… Lords… are gonna send him to hell… it's over…' thought Lucius. 'I'm alone now…'

The blond wizard was standing at the top of the East-wing tower, contemplating the wide forest bordering the lake. He stepped on the edge and sat down hugging his knees as his tears began to flow.

Severus Snape was gliding as fast as he could to Dumbledore's office but his semi-corporeal form wasn't as fast as a real body. He was beginning to understand how Voldemort had felt after the 'baby-incident'. He finally reached the gargoyle.

"Jammie Dodgers!" he yelled.

The stairs appeared and he glided up.

"S…Severus? How…" stuttered the old headmaster who stopped rummaging through his papers to stare at the semi-ghost.

Voldemort, in all his snaky glory, burst into the office wand at the ready.

The potions master ducked a spell cast by the Lord and as he stood up, he caught a sight that froze his non-existent heart.

'oh smeg…what have I done' was Severus last thought before being hit in the chest with a powerful spell.

TBC

A/N: I'm terribly sorry but I failed my first semester so I've been very busy with my studies… I haven't been able to write a lot… I'm SO SORRY! I love you all, faithful reviewers, you are the joy of my pitiful excuse of a life!


	7. Use the Force Lucius

**Trust no one, obey to no one, and care for no one**

…**except…**

**Disclaimer**: If I wanted to make profit out of this crap, I'd try to sell it to an editor. I am not. I'm posting it for free on the internet. Soooo, please don't sue me!

Thanks a lot Ô my beloved reviewers! May the Dark Lord bless you all!

Keys:

-Speech- : Parseltongue

_Speech_: Telepathy

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Chapter 7: Use the Force Lucius

Lucius looked down at the ground. Damn the tower was really high. He felt his knees go weak and gave a small whimper. His sweaty hands grabbed the nearest stone and very carefully, he stepped down the edge of the tower. With a sigh, he climbed down the stairs. A drink, the blond wizard thought, a drink was urgently needed.

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Meanwhile, in Dumbledore office…

"Tom? What the hell is happening?" asked a very annoyed headmaster. So annoyed in fact, that he was stomping his foot.

Tom was so impressed by the fact that the old coot of a wizard could be annoyed to the point of stomping his foot that he stared at the aforementioned foot, his eyes wide and mouth hanging open.

Now, Dumbledore was more than annoyed, he was embarrassed. He contemplated his different options: fight Voldemort, kill Voldemort, ask for explanation in an authoritative tone of voice, tell Voldemort off for messing up his office. But finally he settled for the most logical thing to do.

"Would you like a sherbet lemon?" He asked.

Tom stared some more and wondered what he should do: fight Dumbledore, kill Dumbledore, do the patented evil laugh, grab Severus and go. But finally he settled for the most logical thing to do.

"Why, yes thank you." And thus, Tom and Albus began eating the sherbet lemons reminiscing of the old times.

Harry was beginning to worry. Tom didn't come back. Really, it was worrisome. I wouldn't exaggerate by saying that Harry was indeed very deeply worried. In fact, worry was now troubling Harry in a very worrying way. And by that, I mean that Harry was worried.

Therefore, naturally, Harry decided to check on his lover. He tiptoed up the stairs and pushed the door of Dumbledore's office open. Then, his mouth went dry, his mind went blank. To be honest, he nearly fainted. But he didn't. Because the scene in front of his eyes was to incredibly unbelievable to miss one second of it. Severus was unconscious on the floor, lying there like an old carpet you should throw away but just can't find the time to do so; some ghostly drool was coming out from his mouth.

The Dark Lord and the Headmaster were calmly sipping at their tea, chatting like old friends. They were old, so that didn't particularly shocked Harry. What was very surprising is that they weren't friends, not at all. When his mouth began to work again, Harry decided to ask them to clarify this particular point.

"Err… What in the fuck of god are you doing?"

Then, he glared at Dumbledore. The old wizard scratched his beard. Harry looked pleadingly at his lover. Tom looked at his cup of tea and frowned.

"HA!" he said.

"HA!" he said again.

"HA HA!" he concluded.

As the ambient confusion was thick enough for Fawkes to ski on it, Voldie explained his discovery. This wasn't really REALLY a discovery, because everybody knows it anyway.

"Dumbledore, you old coot, you've drugged the sherbet lemons!" He bellowed red with indignation. Then, realization dawned on him and he fainted.

Dumbledore gave Harry the thumbs up and whispered:

"Well, what are you waiting for? Finish him off!"

OH SHIT!

_Tom? Tom, wake up! TOOOOM!_

But Tom didn't wake up. Shit.

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Lucius sighed. Vodka was good. Sex with Bella was alright, especially since she was a woman but her optimism made his sicker than ever. Life sucks. It sucks a lot. Like Severus… Oh no, bad BAD BAD thoughts! Maybe he should give himself up to the Order? YES! He was gonna surrender! And spend the rest of his life in Azkaban, romantically brooding in a dark damp cell, hearing the roar of the ocean and remembering the treason of his lover, suffering like the heroes of those muggle books he had read.

That's how Lucius came across a joyful Dumbledore, a fainted Dark Lord and a Harry Potter at the edge of a heart attack.

Severus Snape, completely out of it because of the curse shot at him, chose fortunately this moment to shoot at the top of his lungs:

"USE THE FORCE LUCIUS!"

And he passed out again.

Bravery and sense of duty overcame Lucius' mind. Sevi was alive! ALIVE! He grabbed Fawkes, who was still skiing on the ambient confusion, and knocked Dumbledore down with it. Surprised, the bird burst into flames, setting fire to the Headmaster's ridiculous robes.

Harry, Lucius and Tom, who had woken up when he'd smelled the delicious smell of roasted chicken, contemplated, completely stunned, the combustion of the Light Leader.

Bella burst suddenly in the office. She gasped, she smiled then she danced around the room making funny noises. When she stopped, she threw her fists up and yelled:

"LETS PARTY!"

A/N: very short chapter… I apologize, but you know, right now, my parents are in the next room, checking every now and then if I'm studying… which I am not, obviously. So as soon as summer holydays begin, I promise you a longer chapter!

See you all!


	8. I've seen Hell and I loved it

**Trust no one, obey to no one, and care for no one**

…**except…**

**Disclaimer**: You must worship J.K. Rowling for the Holy Potters Books. They're hers. Not mine…

I love my reviewers. They're the best! Especially since I took soooo long to update… I feel ashamed… SORRY!

Keys:

-Speech- : Parseltongue

_Speech_: Telepathy

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Chapter 8: I've seen Hell and I loved it

The Order of the Phoenix was divided and its members were angry with each others. Tom and Harry were celebrating.

In fact, Dumbledore death had reinforced two tendencies. Some didn't trust him because he was holding back fundamental information, information which was now lost. Some remained very loyal to him. Others had strategically joined the Dark Side. Good for them!

As for Severus…

Malfoy Manor (or the Mad House as some called it) was alive with the sound of music. Some of the Death Eater had formed a band and were playing loudly in a corner of the Great Room. It was a huge room, thus bearing well its name. It was generally used to impressed the guests but more commonly it allowed Narcissa to play softball indoors when it was raining. Today, there was a party in it. With loads to eat, and to drink of course. Bella had even baked all sorts of cakes and pies and chocolaty thingy that tasted like heaven.

However, Harry, Tom and Lucius were upstairs in Luc's room to solve the Sevi Problem. Coz Sevi was still a traitor. And still some-kind-of-semi-solid ghost.

"We should sent him straight to the ninth circle of Hell!" Said Harry.

"We should lock him up." Said Tom.

"I should keep him tied to my bed." Said Lucius.

After a heated discussion, it was decided to test him, and most particularly his loyalty.

That's why Sevi was sent to the Weakest Link.

"Whaaaaat?" shrieked Sevi in a girly squeak.

"Well, I think that's a good test!" protested Tom.

"Tom… we're not testing his knowledge…" Sighed Harry.

"OK, then we'll hand him to the couple from Hell!" the Dark Lord shouted evilly.

"Ain't that supposed to be us?" The green-eyed wizard frowned.

"NO, it's… Tonks and Narcissa!"

Two hours later, the two women exited the room in which Sevi was kept. They both were wearing proud smirks.

"That ghost won't bother you anymore my Lord." Said Tonks.

"Yeah and he's all yours, dearest hubby of mine." Added Cissy.

Lucius ran into the room and found the kinda-transparent man dressed in a pink frilly dress, tears trailing down his face.

"Get those things off me Lucyyyy!" whined the poor potion master. "Give me my virility baaack!"

But Lucius didn't give Sevi his virility. Instead he ravished him, doggy style, and Sevi learned to get used to wearing pink frilly dresses.

As for the world, they soon learned that the Dark Side, and Hell in general, was much more funny and colourful than the Light.

Really, who would follow an old man saying 'You can't do that, it's wrong.', when a couple of sexy men on the other side offer you a life of freedom, where you can whatever you want, without consequences!

The path to the Dark Side is a very long one, but accepting it as a reality and learning to love it can be very easy.

Thus, Tom Harry and Co organized a marketing campaign, and hired the most gifted of the lobbyists.

Summer came and the sun shined on a world of cheerful darkness.

Harry and Tom got married.

Draco resurrected Moaning Myrtle with Sevi's ritual and married her too.

Remus and Sirius shrugged, forgot about the fact that Voldemort had killed their best friends and cheered like everyone else when Lord Voldemort was elected Emperor of the Solar System.

Suffering might lead to the Dark Side, but the Dark Side certainly leads to a lot of happiness and fluffiness.

THE END


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